This is a conversation with one of my most favorite people ever – my brother, Ryan Malloy. I mention in the first episode, that at some point we are all in a recovery of sorts and Ryan and I kind of began working through our, very different but also very similar versions of recovery around the same time and we’ve supported each other and really created a safe space to talk through things and try out ideas to see how they fit – kind of a testing ground for emotions or thoughts that came up for us through the process. This conversation was basically an extension of that. But, it didn’t occur to me until we were recording, that we haven’t talked about his recovery story since it was happening in real time. I don’t know…maybe we lived it so we didn’t ever feel the need to go back to it. I was surprised how much I didn’t remember and also how much I just never knew.
Many of us are dealing with addiction and recovery intimately – whether you are at some stage addiction or of recovery or attempting to support someone through a the process. And there are pieces of all of that in this conversation. How and when Ryan realized there was a problem, a bit of what it looked like and felt like when things were spiraling out of control, how I, as a supporter both helped and hurt the situation and then what his process of recovery looks like today.
“With Dad dying and two weeks later with my daughter being born, my system just hit overload. It was too much and I couldn’t keep up the front anymore.”
Topics and resources we discuss in the episode:
I am normally not a huge fan of just sitting and listening to things because I am more of a visual learner and I get bored easily. But this is #2 and I have stayed interested. This one was just as good as the first one. I relate so well to this because I am a sibling of an addict and I can probably say I am one myself. If I had continued drinking the way I did in high school, I would have completely ruined my life. I was a binge drinker and thankfully I was able to quit cold turkey. And now, I don’t drink because I have no tolerance for it and can be tipsy with one drink. I still have the addict tendencies, but I have learned to focus it on more healthy things. Right now swimming is my obsession. Food has always been an area that I struggle with, but I work on that daily. One very unpopular opinion I have is the label of addiction being a disease. I don’t believe it is. Yes, it does change your brain chemistry and I think it does tend to be heredity to a degree, but I think it all starts with a choice. And people with other diseases don’t really get a choice. I know, a VERY unpopular belief. This Vlog is wonderful!!! I am so proud of you and Ryan, you rock and I am proud of you too!!! You may be an addict, but you are 100% correct. It doesn’t make you a bad person AT ALL. And the way you have dealt with it and still are, is amazing! Everybody has something in their life they have struggled with. You just have to put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. Love you both!!!
Stephanie! Thank you so much for your kind words — I so appreciate it and you taking the time to listen. Please keep the feedback coming! Love you!